Time just flies....

       Well, my life has been a HOT mess the last 4 years and I've decided I need a place to journal.  So, this is as good as any. 

        My last post was in September 2012....well in December 2012 I discovered my husband was having an affair.  My world fell apart.  I'm sure you can imagine.  I discovered this was not the first time and that he had come on to many women that turned him away.  My world was turned upside down and I didn't know what to do.  I should have kicked him out then but because I didn't think I could live without him and because I had taken vows....I stayed and we did counseling.  I should have been straight up....after time in counseling.  He had just destroyed me.  I literally felt nothing for him.  I thought it would change but I was wrong.  He got more insecure and crazy.  I got more distance, angry, and I just didn't love or like him anymore.  I lost 95 lbs.

        In March 2014 I told him it was over. Of course this went over like a lead balloon.  I now realize I have to take responsibility for the fact he thought I'd change my mind and it would all work out.  I never set boundaries and I was not strong when I found out about the affair plus all the other women.  He finally moved out of the house.  He quit therapy which is very sad and will backfire on him.  Our divorce was finally final on September 29, 2015. 

       The kids are so big and are attending Arapahoe Charter School in Pamlico County.  They are doing amazing.  All of my sweet babies have some disability but we and they don't let that hold them back.  Landon, 13, has Asperger's.  Logan, 11, is dyslexic.  Lindsey, 6, has severe ADHD/ODD.  I'm so proud of all three of them.  The last 4 yrs has been hard on them but they have come out of it so strong and with an amazing relationship with Jesus.  I think the 3 of them and I have an amazing bond.  They know I will do anything to protect them and keep them safe. 

      So, here we are March 2016......I just lost my job.  I'm very disgusted because I was one of the hardest working dedicated techs at my job BUT because my kids have had a rough year with sickness they let me go.  REALLY....how awesome is that.....I'm a single Mom with 3 kids.  I'm busting my butt to provide and show them they can do anything.  Not to stay in a horrible, abusive relationship.....to show them how very much I love them and they are the most important thing to me......then BOOM....sorry Dawn no job.  Thanks CEMC.....for being supportive and family friendly.  So, I'm actually doing good.....aside from no money.  LOL  I can guarantee you one thing I will never ever go to that hospital again.  I will go to Greenville....no matter what.  My children and I will avoid it like the plague.  I would rather die going to greenville then set foot on those grounds.  If they can't support me....I will never support them. 

     I am trying to find some new pics of the kids.....I guess I'll look and post some next time.  I will leave you with a pic of me and my new guy.  He is so wonderful.  I never realized anyone could be so selfless and love me so much.  God really showed me what true love was all about with my sweet sexy Bill.